A.J.

December 12, 2016

Baby Dunlap

Our Life

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baby announcement big sister ultrasound photo

The Dunlap family is proud to announce that we have another member joining our family! Baby number two is due June 11th, and we could not be more excited. Especially big sister Ada. From the second I found out I was expecting, she’s been involved in the pregnancy. She’s come to most of the appointments, and is constantly asking to talk to, see, jump on, kiss, you name it…the baby. And she’s not ok with talking to the baby through my shirt, she has to talk directly into my belly button. “Hello baby. I love you baby! I’m your big sister baby!” Oh my goodness, my heart melts each and every time it happens, and it happens A LOT. Like today, in the middle of Target. Seeing her take on this role is one of the most rewarding things I’ve experienced as a parent.

I know a lot of parents choose not to tell their little ones so early in case something happens. I get that. More than you know. You see, we had that “in case” happen last spring. 7 weeks into what was our second pregnancy, our world came crashing down. Thinking about it today, it still hurts. I’m sitting here in tears typing. It’s something I wish no woman ever had to go through. It’s a pain you can’t explain until you experience it. I watched my sister go through it twice, thinking I fully understood, but I didn’t. Unless you’ve been there you can’t.

Which is why I chose not to talk about it. In fact, I know I’m shocking a lot of my family with this news. Please don’t feel hurt that I didn’t tell you. I simply couldn’t deal with anyone else’s emotions except my own, and that was hard enough. You read all these articles about how we need to talk about miscarriage, how we need to make women feel like it’s not their fault, and they’re not alone…how it shouldn’t be a taboo topic. Honestly, making those of us who choose not to talk about it feel guilty and like we’re doing a disservice to women. Talking about it works for some people, and it doesn’t for others. For me, I couldn’t and didn’t want to talk about it. I still don’t. Please don’t take this post as a sympathy seeker. I’m not writing to get a whole bunch of “I’m sorries”. I’m writing because I finally can. I’m ready to share my pain. I’ve come to peace with what’s happened, even though it still stinks, and I’m more than happy to be having a healthy third pregnancy!

This is why we chose to involve Ada from the beginning. The hardest part about losing a baby last spring was knowing that she lost a sibling. We wanted kids closer in age than this, but seeing how involved she can be with the baby & pregnancy now, I wouldn’t change the timing for anything. It is so beautiful to watch.

So here I am, 14 weeks into this pregnancy. Finally coming out of the yucks and feeling human most of the time. That’s why the blog has been so quiet, and why I haven’t announced yet. I literally haven’t had the energy. I’ve been able to answer emails, edit, and sleep, but that’s about it. The house is a wreck, I have no idea what we’ve been eating for the last 3 months, and haven’t done dishes or laundry since I don’t know when. In a lot of ways it’s a very similar pregnancy to Ada’s (cravings, exhaustion, bump growth, etc), except add on an all day, lingering yucky feeling that started around 9 weeks and has lasted until a few days ago. Getting pregnant in what was the busiest fall of my life was not ideal, but I made it through and am happy to be on the upswing!

There is no way I could have ever done this without Kyle. Single moms, my hat’s off to you. I don’t know how you do it. He has literally done everything. He gets home from work, I go lay on the couch, and he parents and keeps the house as decluttered as he can. He’s been amazing! I know he’s as ready for normal me to return as I am, but he’s been so understanding and hasn’t complained about it once. Every day I’m feeling better, and can help out a little more! My pile of to-dos is a little overwhelming, but thankfully I’m heading into a slower season and can hopefully catch up soon! Maybe even get a few blogs out!

Now my little secret’s out, and everyone can quit staring at my belly wondering…and with a rapidly growing bump there have been quite a few of those stares recently, haha! We find out in less than a month if it’s a boy or girl, and I can’t wait!! If you ask Ada if she’s having a brother or sister she’ll say “brother, sister”. Well little girl, you’ll be right one way or the other, and no there’s not one of each!

Thanks for taking the time to read, and for sharing in our excitement! It’s a huge blessing, and we couldn’t be more excited!

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  1. Katie May says:

    Many blessings on your growing family AJ and Kyle. I am so very sorry for your loss. The pain of miscarriage is so deep. I had never experienced such grief in my life. I appreciate your courage to share your heart.